HOW TO DEVELOP THE CONFIDENCE TO PLAY THE BIGGER GAME OF LIFE

There is no doubt that self-esteem and confidence are qualities associated with very successful people. Lack of confidence in one’s own abilities is debilitating and restricts one from playing the bigger game in life. When you lack self-esteem, you don’t even try, and therein lies the problem.

The best way to build your self-esteem is to commit and deliver. Whilst no one is perfect, and we all falter from time to time, we should all strive to have more character and integrity. Integrity is an under-appreciated characteristic in today’s world. But if you set tasks and challenges, or make promises and commit to delivering on them, your self-confidence will definitely improve over time. Your mind knows when you do not stick to your commitments. The more you leave things incomplete, the more you start to resign yourself from success. Strive not only to be a person of success, but a person of character. Why? Because sustained success follows character.

There are many other steps that one can take to improve confidence and self-esteem. The below is a small list to get you started:

1.      Conquer your fear of failure- Did you stand up and walk the first time you tried? Did you form perfectly structured sentences the first time that you tried to speak? Did you balance perfectly the first time you tried to ride a bike? The pressure to get things right the first time inhibits the ability to learn. Take action, aim for progress, not perfection and over time your fears will vanish.

2.      Learn to say “no”- Self-denying behaviours and attitudes will probably reinforce the unwanted behaviours and demands of others and encourage them to keep making unreasonable requests of you. By learning to say no to such requests, you build self-esteem which results in higher confidence.

3.      Stop comparing yourself with others- Our confidence levels may be lower than they need to be merely because we are constantly comparing ourselves unfavourably with other people who appear to be more successful than we are. By comparing ourselves to others, we get into a “competitive” or a “giving up” mindset, instead of a “creative” mindset. Recognising your unique strengths and focussing on them will help your self-esteem. Comparing yourself will do the opposite.

You are great and were born to play the game of life to win!

- Ron Malhotra